Anne Skyvington
  • Writing
    • A Change of Blog Title
    • An Article in Quadrant Magazine
    • A Guest Post by Ian Wells
    • An Aussie bloke remembers: Guest post by Ian (Harry) Wells
    • a father’s tale … by Ian (Harry) Wells
    • “Snakey” by Roger Britton
    • A Guest Poem: “First Loves” by Roger Britton
    • At the Swimming Pool
    • A Modern True Story
    • A Story of a Special Child
    • What I learnt from writing a novel…
  • Mythos
    • A FAIRY STORY
    • Anthropos Rising
    • A Grain of Folly
    • The Myth of Persephone and Demeter
    • Candidly Yours…
    • A Story of a Genteel Ghost told by Roger Britton
  • Travel
    • Adriatic Romance … Rijeka to Titograd
    • 5 or 6 Things About Valencia
    • A Bird’s Eye View
    • 7 ancient artefacts in the British Museum
    • A Tuscan Village Holiday
  • Australia
    • A Country College Residence
    • Alone not lonely in Apartheid South Africa
    • A Young Adult Novel: My French Barrette
    • A Sydney Icon or Two
    • 5 things about Coogee
  • Nature
    • Black Swans Surfing
    • Blackbird Mythology: Crows and Magpies of Australia
    • A Kit Home Goes Up in Vacy
  • Poetry
    • a funny thing happened …
    • An ancient mystic: Rumi
    • A Window into Poetry
    • A Love Sonnet by Ian Harry Wells
  • Memoir
    • Always something there to remind me…
    • A Well-Loved Pet
    • Ancient Stories from Childhood
    • Voices From the Past
  • Publishing
    • A Useful Site for Readers and Indie Authors: Books 2 Read
    • Highs and Lows of Self Publishing
    • How I Created My Debut Novel
    • 5 Further Publishing Facts
    • 5 Facts I Learnt About Self/Publishing
  • Contact Us

Anne Skyvington

The Craft of Writing

  • Writing
    • A Change of Blog Title
    • An Article in Quadrant Magazine
    • A Guest Post by Ian Wells
    • An Aussie bloke remembers: Guest post by Ian (Harry) Wells
    • a father’s tale … by Ian (Harry) Wells
    • “Snakey” by Roger Britton
    • A Guest Poem: “First Loves” by Roger Britton
    • At the Swimming Pool
    • A Modern True Story
    • A Story of a Special Child
    • What I learnt from writing a novel…
  • Mythos
    • A FAIRY STORY
    • Anthropos Rising
    • A Grain of Folly
    • The Myth of Persephone and Demeter
    • Candidly Yours…
    • A Story of a Genteel Ghost told by Roger Britton
  • Travel
    • Adriatic Romance … Rijeka to Titograd
    • 5 or 6 Things About Valencia
    • A Bird’s Eye View
    • 7 ancient artefacts in the British Museum
    • A Tuscan Village Holiday
  • Australia
    • A Country College Residence
    • Alone not lonely in Apartheid South Africa
    • A Young Adult Novel: My French Barrette
    • A Sydney Icon or Two
    • 5 things about Coogee
  • Nature
    • Black Swans Surfing
    • Blackbird Mythology: Crows and Magpies of Australia
    • A Kit Home Goes Up in Vacy
  • Poetry
    • a funny thing happened …
    • An ancient mystic: Rumi
    • A Window into Poetry
    • A Love Sonnet by Ian Harry Wells
  • Memoir
    • Always something there to remind me…
    • A Well-Loved Pet
    • Ancient Stories from Childhood
    • Voices From the Past
  • Publishing
    • A Useful Site for Readers and Indie Authors: Books 2 Read
    • Highs and Lows of Self Publishing
    • How I Created My Debut Novel
    • 5 Further Publishing Facts
    • 5 Facts I Learnt About Self/Publishing
  • Contact Us
MythosWriting

Learning to Have Courage and Compassion

written by Anne Skyvington October 31, 2016
the-princess-two-trolls

How do you react to negative feedback?

In our family, I was the overly sensitive one. Recently, I was recently rated high in intuition, feeling and perception, in a Myers-Briggs personality test. Fate had paired me off with a mother who had quite a thick hide. Small things upset me, and big things were crushing for my very soul. One instance was the near-death of a beloved brother when I was six. I tried to conceal my “weakness”, and took on the guilt for some things that were not my fault. It meant that I grew up carrying heavy emotional baggage on my shoulders: even responsibility for this brother’s accident.

Later on, after much work on my part, I was able to heal from my troubles. I even got rid of the “Black Dog” of depression, so that I could bring up my two children in a healthy environment.

Still much later on, I learnt to have compassion for my mother, who suffered from “nerves” that were misunderstood afflictions in those days. One of my main aims in writing is to destigmatise mental illness.

At the time of my writing, mental illness is still a source of stigma for those suffering from it, and often feared by those who are ignorant about it. Many sporting stars, as well as artists, actors and creative writers are among those attending psychological clinics, who choose not to publicise their affliction.

And yet, more and more books are being written and published, revealing the ubiquitous nature of mental illness in society today.  See recent books by Guy Winch, a clinical psychologist with hard-earned wisdom, offering solutions to these questions.

 Learning to have compassion

dostoyevsky

Sometimes I’ve felt like The Idiot  in the masterpiece by Dostoyevsky, because I’ve found it hard to give up on those who are suffering. The protagonist, Prince Myshkin, puts up with a lot, and comes across as being stupid; but he is the incarnation of compassion within the structure of the novel. The title is meant to be ironic.

Learning from your own emotional struggles and rejections, is also how you learn to have compassion for others. This  often starts in the home.  If not, school days usually teach us about this all-important emotion. In fact, it’s often through suffering ourselves, that we learn to have compassion and sympathy for others.

 

The Power of Words

When I was in fourth class at primary school, my teacher, a returned war serviceman, who’d been wounded in the Second World War, used to write this short poem on the blackboard. It was for cursive writing practice. I was never good at handwriting, but I loved poetry. The sentiments expressed in this poem made a great impression on me at the time.selected-poems-1912

Life is mostly froth and bubble,
Two things stand like stone.
Kindness in another’s trouble,

Courage in your own.

Adam Lindsay Gordon

This sentiment stood by me when I was being bullied at junior primary school around this time; when I felt terribly alone with no one to stand up for me. Many sensitive children go through this at some stage in their school days.

My reaction was in part linked to guilt over the near-death accident of a beloved brother.

Later on, in high school, Shakespeare’s words attributed to Portia in The Merchant of Venice (the court scene) made a similarly huge impact on me:

portia-millais-19th-century

The quality of mercy is not strain’d,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest;
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes’
Tis mightiest in the mightiest; it becomes
The thronèd monarch better than his crown.
His scepter shows the force of temporal power,
The attribute to awe and majesty
Wherein doth sit the dread and fear of kings;

The Merchant of Venice: Act 4 Scene Scene 1

Finding a mentor or kindred spirit

jung-as-an-old-manWhen I first read Memories, Dreams and Reflections by Carl Jung, I knew that I’d found a kindred spirit, or at least, a mentor. Jung’s ideas on Projection have been an especially enlightening idea for me.  He claimed that it was the most ubiquitous aspect of human psychology. He even went as far as to say that the best political, social, and spiritual work we can do is to withdraw—that is to reclaim— the projection of our own shadow on to others. As a child, he felt alone, and still felt like that as an adult, and even as an old man.  This was because he knew things, and had to hint at things, which others didn’t know about,  and for the most part, didn’t want to know about.

Today, we are often tarred with the title of “whacko” if we hint at our own personal experiences that seem to collide with or question accepted social tenets, especially those of traditional notions of Science today. Carl Jung in the early twentieth century knew this, and kept many of his thoughts to himself.

Even the great Russian writer, Tolstoy, in the nineteenth century, succumbed to depression in later life, and could not hold onto his religious beliefs, which had nonetheless inspired an exalted community of followers, including Mahatma Gandhi. In his Confessions, written in late middle age, Tolstoy expresses his disillusionment with religion, and turns to a more mystical/Eastern search for God. He was excommunicated by the Orthodox church in response to expressing his true opinions.

Learning to Have Courage and Compassion was last modified: April 9th, 2019 by Anne Skyvington
destigmatising mental illnessJung's ideas on projectionlearning compassion as a childthe importance of compassionthe metaphorical significance of the idiot in dostoyevskytolstoy autobiography
2 comments
0
Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest
Anne Skyvington

I have been a reader/writer all of my life as far back as I can remember. Blogging has opened me up to another world, where I can share my skills and continue to create through word and picture. Writing is about seeing the world and recreating it for others to see through different eyes.

previous post
Finding Your Narrative Voice
next post
The Grafton Jacaranda Festival of Yesteryear

You may also like

To Plot or Not to Plot

March 30, 2019

Writing a Book Review

June 17, 2014

Duality or Onenness: The Moon

May 13, 2014

A Tuscan Village Holiday

February 3, 2018

Dear WordPress Bloggers

November 7, 2016

A Guest Poem: “First Loves” by Roger...

December 4, 2015

We Are Not Alone

August 11, 2016

An Aussie bloke remembers: Guest post by...

September 30, 2015

Hello and welcome … 2016

January 1, 2016

Tell me who your mentors are and...

August 8, 2017

2 comments

dinadavis2015 October 31, 2016 at 3:37 pm

Yes negative feedback can be highly destructive to all writers, not only the ‘sensitive’ ones. The worst feeling is being misunderstood, and judged on criteria that simply don’t apply to one’s genre. I employed a structural editor who showed in her first few comments that she simply didn’t ‘get it’. Wasting no time on self-pity, I immediately found an editor who was empathetic, intelligent, and gave constructive criticism. Worth persisting, but only with the right editor.

Reply
Anne Skyvington November 2, 2016 at 12:20 pm

Yes, great advice from someone who knows, Dina! With a little time and hindsight, I’m now able to get on with making the positive changes to the text that were suggested, without over-reacting and changing the whole story too much. I wish I had some of your chutzpa. Sensitivity is a must for the creative writing process, but editing and getting published often require almost opposite skills.

Reply

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

About Me

About Me

Anne Skyvington

Anne Skyvington is a writer based in Sydney who has been practising and teaching creative writing skills for many years. You can learn here about structuring a short story and how to go about creating a longer work, such as a novel or a memoir. Subscribe to this blog and receive a monthly newsletter on creative writing topics and events.

Subscribe

Buy online from Amazon

In Australia you can purchase the book from Harry Hartog in Bondi Junction, from Amazon Australia and bookshops linked to IngramSpark

 

Included in Feedspot’s Top 30 for 2020

Top 30 Creative Writing Blogs, Websites & Influencers in 2020

This blog is Included in List of 100 Best Writers’ Sites 2019

 

The 100 Best Websites for Writers in 2019

Connect With Me

Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest Linkedin Youtube Email

Recent Posts

  • How I Created My Debut Novel

    July 4, 2020
  • A Useful Site for Readers and Indie Authors: Books 2 Read

    October 18, 2020
  • Randwick Writers’ Group: Sharing Writing Skills

    May 7, 2020
  • 5 Further Publishing Facts

    April 1, 2020
  • 5 Facts I Learnt About Self/Publishing

    March 23, 2020

Categories

  • Writing
  • Craft of Writing
  • Publishing
  • Australia
  • Childhood
  • Nature
  • Travel
  • Poetry
  • Memoir
  • Emotions and Health
  • Book Reviews
  • Guest Post
  • Art
  • Politics

I’ve joined ALLI

About Me

About Me

Anne Skyvington is a Sydney-based writer and blogger. Read more...

Popular Posts

  • How I Created My Debut Novel

    July 4, 2020
  • Randwick Writers’ Group: Sharing Writing Skills

    May 7, 2020
  • 5 Further Publishing Facts

    April 1, 2020
  • The Golden Ratio in Nature

    August 24, 2016

Subscribe

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Linkedin

Copyright @ 2017 Anne Skyvington. All Rights Reserved. Site by gina.digital.


Back To Top