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On the Train to Sydney

written by Anne Skyvington February 10, 2015
girl-steam-train

This is a short excerpt, still under review, from Chapter Twenty-Seven of Karrana.

Bridie thought Stella, curled up in the corner of the mail train compartment, her red curls squashed against the leather, looked like a ginger kitten she remembered from childhood. Two women on the opposite bench were drifting off too, lulled into a deep forgetfulness by the rattle of the wheels on iron. Bridie felt herself slipping into a yawning pit, inviting her to surrender.

Snatches of childhood loomed out of the deep ravine into which she was sinking. She was oblivious to the soot and the smoke whooshing past the windows of the train.

There’s a pillow fight in full swing. Four brothers and her. On the four-poster bed. Duck feathers flying. At first it’s fun. Poor Mumma crying out stop! Dirt floor. Mosquitoes on faces. Dadda burning cow dung in buckets to stop the mozzies from biting. Some games are fun. Sid the circus master yelling out orders. She wants to dance on the white pony’s back. But no, she’s a cat now, scratching at boys’ faces. Choking, gasping for air. ‘I hate you! I hate you!’ Scratching at Sid’s face with cat’s claws. Then Johnny’s. And the fat brother’s, eater of charcoal and chook dung. Sitting on her now. Pulling at oily hair: ‘Get off me!’ Charlie the lion tamer with whip and chair in hand to tame the brute. She is the lion. The fat brother sitting on her back. Laughing and farting into her hair. ‘Get away!’ Get off me!’ She’s screaming now: ‘Wanta get away!’ Sucked into a dark hole. ‘Wanta get away.’

Someone is putting a frog down her dress…

‘Bridie, wake up! What is it?’ Stella was leaning over her. Face red and anxious white. ‘You were crying out. And you’re shaking.’

The other ladies were stirring too: ‘Shoosh.’

ginger-kitten

 

On the Train to Sydney was last modified: November 3rd, 2017 by Anne Skyvington
an example of close or deep narrative voiceclose or deep POV is commonly employed in fiction wirting todaycrossover takes place between an author's real life and narration in novels and short storiesfictional devices are often employed in memoir writing today
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Anne Skyvington

I have been a reader/writer all of my life as far back as I can remember. Blogging has opened me up to another world, where I can share my skills and continue to create through word and picture. Writing is about seeing the world and recreating it for others to see through different eyes.

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6 comments

Lynne February 10, 2015 at 1:00 pm

Well I for one want to read the whole thing. I see a young me in much of this.

Reply
Anne Skyvington February 10, 2015 at 1:50 pm

OK. You’ll be one of the first that I send it to. Thanks Lynne.

Reply
Susan Beinart February 10, 2015 at 8:24 pm

This is great stuff, Anne. For me, it backgrounds some historical causes for Bridie’s present anguish.

Reply
Anne Skyvington February 10, 2015 at 8:57 pm

Thanks Susan
It’s what I’m trying to show here. That she wants to get away from her background.

Reply
Hiten Vyas February 23, 2015 at 4:16 am

Hi Anne,

This is very descriptive, which I liked. It makes me want to read more! Thank you.

Reply
Anne Skyvington February 23, 2015 at 10:43 am

Thanks for your feedback, Hiten. Please keep in touch.

Reply

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About Me

About Me

Anne Skyvington

Anne Skyvington is a writer based in Sydney who has been practising and teaching creative writing skills for many years. Learn about structuring a short story and how to go about creating a longer work, such as a novel or a memoir. Subscribe to this blog and receive a monthly newsletter on creative writing topics and events.

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