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Anne Skyvington

The Craft of Writing

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Emotions and Health

bench-in-autumn
Emotions and HealthWriting

Melancholia

Many well-known writers down through the ages have suffered from melancholy or melancholia. This sort of ongoing negative feeling that artistic people often suffer from is different from everyday sadness or occasional bouts of depression that many of us feel from time to time. Extreme emotional sensitivity basic to melancholy (often referred to as ‘clinical depression’ today) seems to go hand in hand with the desire and ability to put pen to paper. Melancholy also seems to be, at least in part, an inherited condition or predisposition, leaving one open to more serious forms of mental illness. When I say ‘in part’ I mean that environment also plays a huge role in the ultimate outcome and expression of the disorder; possibly the solitary life of the writer contributes to it also.

the-vivisector

Australian author Patrick White (1912-1990) preferred not to seek treatment for his ongoing depression, which is well documented in his autobiography and biographies, because he felt that his creativity might be prejudiced if he were ‘cured’ or medicated. One of his novels, The Vivisector, presents the artist as a doctor, who analyses people like a surgeon cutting into bodies. White fell out with many of his friends during his lifetime, because of his mood swings and his tendency to treat people badly at times of stress. But he has always been forgiven by the reading populace, because of the amazing body of work he left us.

English speaking authors who wrote about their melancholy include Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), John Keats (1795-1821), Virginia Woolf (1882-1941), and Sylvia Plath (1932-1963) to name but a few. Johnson lived to a reasonable age, but the others died young as a result of their melancholic personalities. Two of them, Wolf and Plath, committed suicide when subject to depression.

When I use the word ‘melancholy’ and ‘melancholia’ instead of the more modern term ‘depression’, it seems to englobe the positive connections seen or felt by the authors themselves, as well as the negative connotations of illness and misery.

I’m not suggesting that you have to be mentally ill or melancholic to write well.  Furthermore, there are great sportive people, politicians and people from all walks of life, who suffer from depression and bipolar illness. Still, as someone with an interest in this subject, I find it fascinating that so many writers fall into what I call the melancholia category.

an-unquiet-mindKay Redfield Jamison suffers from bipolar illness, which used to be called ‘Manic-Depression’. She documents the illness vividly in her memoir An Unquiet Mind. She actually embraces her bipolar, because of her heigthened imaginative capacity and the enjoyable ‘highs’ she experiences.

She is also able to keep her illness in check, as she is a psychiatrist specialising in Lithium, the main mood stabiliser for sufferers.

This is a wonderful read on the subject of bipolar illness.

 

Melancholia was last modified: March 5th, 2018 by Anne Skyvington
October 20, 2012 0 comment
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the-big-buddha-painting
Emotions and HealthMythos

Buddhism for Westerners

In 2008 I attended a Convention in Singapore for followers of the New Kadampa Tradition of Buddhism, introduced to the West by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso in 1977. He now resides at the mother centre in the UK. These festivals are annual events, and I was a novice, trying to understand in more depth what this form of Buddhism is all about. The master, in this case Geshe-la, teaches highest meditation practices and gives empowerments, which must be handed down in a “pure” state by the teachers of the tradition. The title of “Geshe” means “Spiritual Friend” and he is known as “Geshe-la” by his followers.

Monks and nuns of this tradition devote their whole lives to meditation and sacrifice to the spiritual needs of their followers.

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Buddhism for Westerners was last modified: July 14th, 2018 by Anne Skyvington
October 12, 2012 2 comments
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tightrope-unsplash
Emotions and HealthExistence

More About Bipolar and Depression

Walking the Tightrope – Caring for Someone with Depression or Bipolar Disorder

While one in five Australians will personally experience clinical depression or a bipolar disorder over their lifetime there are the families, partners, friends and work colleagues who are also drawn into the crisis. Often, it is these people on the perimeter that selflessly reach out to assist those who are living with a mood disorder, offering their time, their acceptance, support and hope.

In searching for strategies to deal with mood disorders, the latest Black Dog Institute Writing Competition throws the spotlight on the powerful stories that come from carers, with a particular focus on the questions of what worked best, what didn’t work and what did you learn?

“While depression can be very isolating, individuals fighting this private battle are often surrounded by those who love them, with friends, family and colleagues all looking for practical and sensitive ways to show their support,” said Professor Gordon Parker, Executive Director of the Black Dog Institute. “The theme of the 2011/12 writing competition is Walking the Tightrope – Caring for Someone with Depression or Bipolar Disorder. I feel this will resonate with carers who are often the unsung heroes in helping people with mood disorders while at the same time exposing themselves to an increased risk of them facing a similar fate.”

Over the past eight years the writing competition has focused on a wide range of topics including adolescents, the elderly, postnatal depression and tackling mood disorders in the workplace, as well as mastering depression and bipolar disorder; resulting in the publication of five (soon to be six) books by distinguished publishing companies.

Above is a message, including an announcement about a writing competition, from this wonderful Institute that helped us protect our beautiful daughter from harm during her struggle with Bipolar Illness. So many young–and not so young–people have died, or been seriously damaged, as a result of this illness. As a carer, I feel proud of how we managed our child’s illness, from 2003 onwards–and saw her emerge like a butterfly unscathed from this terribly difficult (at least in its worst phase) chemical imbalance foisted on her by genetic inheritance. Now that she has beaten this illness, she has emerged even stronger than before. The Wellness Plan for Bipolar people states that they should follow a healthy lifestyle, with plenty of sleep and healthy eating and drinking habits, moderate alcohol consumption and no smoking. This, as well as taking the prescribed medication, will ensure that recovery goes on improving year by year.

Our daughter is one of the lucky ones, with two parents supporting her through all the bad times, and continuing to do so now and into the future. Some of the not-so-lucky ones have succumbed to death through suicide or accidental misadventure during the depressive stages of the illness. This is especially on the cards when the illness goes undiagnosed or if they remain unmedicated for a long period of time.

The reason I have chosen to write about our personal story is because there’s so much lack of information about mental illness, and especially about how it can be treated. While the stigma continues to exist against emotional disorders, people will continue to suffer and not seek out appropriate help in time. So much ignorance surrounds the subject of mental illness in our society, which is why I’ve chosen to be a voice, no matter how small, crying out against the tendency in our society to avoid this subject.

Furthermore, being honest and seeking the truth is not only important to a person’s mental health, but has recently been shown to be a contributing factor in maintaining physical health as well.
Related articles
  • Bipolar Disorder Treatments (answers.com)
  • Bipolar Disorder Debate: Myths of Mental Illness (psychologytoday.com)
  • Mood Stabilizers for Bipolar Artists (heartgoddessart.wordpress.com)
  • Bipolar disorder is often misdiagnosed: Be aware of symptoms and treatment (mlive.com)
More About Bipolar and Depression was last modified: July 8th, 2018 by Anne Skyvington
October 3, 2012 0 comment
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baby-fairystory
Emotions and HealthMythosWriting

A FAIRY STORY

Jade was a much longed-for baby. I had waited five years into my marriage before I conceived. I secretly wanted a girl and it was as if she had heard my silent wish and come to me in my late thirties, drawn by an invisible pull. The experience of being pregnant, of giving birth, and of holding her in my arms eclipsed everything that had gone before.

newborn

November 1979: Felt the first flutterings yesterday, like a tiny sea-horse gently weaving its way deep inside my belly. I am seventeen and a half weeks. I was very tired last night, having made a big effort, washing and ironing all the baby clothes. I was exhausted and lay on the bed and felt the baby move for the first time. Felt strangely high and marvelled at the feelings. It has been fluttering ever since, getting ever more strenuous.

May 1980: Jade looks like a wise teddy bear with puffed eyes and a round face. We call her ‘Our Cuddly Bear’. I have dressed her in hospital nighties because they are so comfortable; Mum was horrified and told me to put something nice on her for visitors to see. She latched onto my nipple quickly and I realised she had a strong grip on life.

She is so relaxed and so dark: an unlikely child for two fair parents. I can’t believe she is really mine. I sing ‘Don’t Break My Heart in Two’, just as I did when she was inside me. I love staring through the bars of the bassinet next to my bed, but mostly I pick her up and bring her into bed with me.

◊◊◊

While pregnant, I had read ‘The Continuum Concept’ by Jean Liedloff, who had lived with the Iraquoi Indians in South America, and noticed that the children there were happy and free of neurosis. I had decided to follow a ‘total access’ policy of child rearing. Jade and I thrived on it. I called her ‘Jadie Bear’ because she was warm and brown and cuddly and we merged our bodies in symbiosis.

“Why doesn’t she ever cry?” Mum asked when she visited from the country, “It’s not normal.” I loved breast-feeding, and wanted to extend it as long as possible. Until two years of age. I was proud of her Rose Red looks, her dark hair and blue eyes that might turn brown. “She’s a good looker,” the doctor on duty had said that first morning. I knew that I had given birth to the most beautiful baby on earth.

baby-jade

Fast forward 26th April, 2003: She is lying on the cold floor of the bathroom, stinking of stale alcohol and bad breath. The words ‘fuck you’ spat forth at me with such venom that I shudder in every cell of my body; only a few hours before she had been telling me how much she loved me and that she could not go on without me. The hair dryer is already attached to the bath in readiness. I know I should hug her, press her cold flesh to mine, but I feel sick; her smell sickens me. I am afraid of her superhuman strength. I hate the look of her: the way she is writhing out of control, screeching insults and swearing. Hyena-like… not my daughter. There is broken glass everywhere—she has been trying to kill herself with knives and with glass shards. My job is to prevent her, but I feel broken too; one part of me wants to tell her to get fucked; the real part loves her to death and only wants to save her from herself.

◊◊◊

May 1999. Jade sits perched on the new navy lounge, painting her toenails pink. The acrid smell of fumes invades the loungeroom and my senses, and I wish silently that she could move out.
“Careful it doesn’t get onto the fabric,” I say, treading on eggshells.

Jade moans, but continues to do it.

“Could you do it in your room?”  She moans again: “Look, I’ve nearly finished.” I want to scream at her to get out, but I hold it in.

I dare not push her… I tread lightly now, afraid of the terrible tantrums that had come on fifteen years too late. I blame myself for not being strict enough with her. For spoiling her.

◊◊◊

I think, as I look at my olive-skinned daughter, that she should have been born in the tropics, not to an Anglo couple in a temperate lakeside town. One day in calmer times, Jade and I had found this run-down, post war fibro-and-timber cottage that sits on a hill and looks out over a tree-filled basin.  Eucalypts, mediterranean pines and bangalow palms, co-exist beneath a vaulted sky across which planes and birds fly as if projected on a screen.

◊◊◊

The day of Mum’s death, 19th May 2003,  passed by quickly, being overshadowed by her granddaughter’s hospitalization, the funeral taking place on Jade’s 23rd birthday.

◊◊◊

Today Jade is an ‘eight’. She slipped a little mid afternoon, but went up again at night. What a relief! The medication is at last starting to take effect. I have only recently begun asking her to give a mood score out of ten, and she was able to respond promptly and easily. The first day she was a ‘four’. Then it rose for short periods to ‘five’, then ‘six’ and yesterday things really started to look up, when it went up to a ‘seven’.  And she has been an ‘eight’ nearly all day today!

On Monday we went through a catharsis. We were all feeling a little depressed. It seemed like Matthew and I were being pulled down into the vortex with her. Her mood had fluctuated during the day, as if trying to find a level.  It was very frustrating. I didn’t know what she wanted or what she would propose next, and I found myself wanting to argue with her and becoming negative. Then suddenly it was as if a heavy stone was lifted and her spirits rose.

 ◊◊◊
I long for the day when I will be able to write the following words in my journal:
She has awoken like Sleeping Beauty from a long deep sleep and opened her eyes on a new world.
A FAIRY STORY was last modified: January 25th, 2019 by Anne Skyvington
October 3, 2012 4 comments
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Emotions and HealthExistence

A Modern True Story

We were so close … she was my golden angel! How could I have let this happen? Was it all my fault? Our faults?

Of course not, it was no one’s fault. But that’s the first thought that you have … at the time of the diagnosis. And for a long time afterwards, too. It’s natural to blame yourself initially. After all, there’s a lot of stigma and ignorance surrounding mental illness in society.

I’d struggled myself with ongoing emotional difficulties during most of my childhood and adolescence.  That is, until I discovered the right sort of treatment and “got to the bottom” of my problems.  After therapy and a momentous breakdown, things suddenly cleared.  I no longer had to live with the long-term, ongoing depressive symptoms. The “black dog” had disappeared for good. Of course, a certain amount of anxiety remained, but that seemed normal to me by this time.

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A Modern True Story was last modified: July 14th, 2018 by Anne Skyvington
October 3, 2012 0 comment
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About Me

About Me

Anne Skyvington

Anne Skyvington is a writer based in Sydney who has been practising and teaching creative writing skills for many years. Learn about structuring a short story and how to go about creating a longer work, such as a novel or a memoir. Subscribe to this blog and receive a monthly newsletter on creative writing topics and events.

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