Anne Skyvington
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Anne Skyvington

The Craft of Writing

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Emotions and Health

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Emotions and HealthExistenceWriting

Taking Risks in Outer and Inner Journeys

I’ve always been a bit of a risk taker in some ways. [See My Travel Journal: “From Paris to Russia and Back in 1968“].  Different cultures and new landscapes, tasting foreign foods, learning about faraway countries and their languages, have always attracted me. In 1970, on the way back to Australia, I rode on a bicycle in a twenty kilometre radius around the ruins of the Cambodian temples, notably the beautiful Angkor Watt. This was not long before the Communist takeover, and remains in my memory as one of the high points of my life. A French archeologist accompanied me back to the Angkor Watt at dusk on his motorcycle, to  take photos and to purchase a temple rubbing from the monks there.

angkor-wat-temple

The Angkor Wat Temple in Cambodia

On the other hand, I have always had a strong self-preservative instinct, and I’ve been incredibly stable and lucky during long periods of my life. We’re all made up of contradictions, I guess. Anyway, recently, I made the decision to change over to a self-hosted website on WordPress. I can tell you, it’s not for the faint-hearted! The first step was to migrate the site from WordPress.com across to WordPress.org, and to open an account with a web host (BlueHost in my case).

yyoung-woman-biting-laptop.

After that, the real troubles began. I’ve spent many minutes, hours, days, weeks, struggling to learn all the jargon associated with troubleshooting, changing things, chatting with online helpers bearing funny names, like Rajneeshi devotees, and it’s not over yet. On the bright side, I’m pleased with the look of the site. On the other hand, I hadn’t been able to figure out, or “configure”, comments from followers, which my friends had complained about.  You see, I had to spend time re-organising my categories and my menu, too.

You might well ask why did you do it? I had an attractive free blog already on WordPress, so why go to all the trouble — paying a host provider, and learning the new rules?  I think it was, partly, that I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, and because I wanted to become the owner of a professional-looking blog with a blogging tool built into it. Perhaps I was wrong…

When I looked at the main advantages of  “.org” over “.com”, it wasn’t about cost, because I was already paying about the same fee annually, for premium upgrades—only about $100—as I will be now for the host. The main advantage is the plugins: there are hundreds to choose from with the hosted site, and you can learn to use them to advantage. But again, it was a sharp learning curve for me.

So I had to ask my friends and followers to please bear with me,  while I muddled around a bit more, trying to put the finishing touches to my “website”, like a painter or artist, who hasn’t quite mastered a certain technique yet.

And then, after all that, I discovered that I could retain the .com site and benefit from the WordPress  community there, if I so chose.

More recently, however, I have  decided to employ a digital expert here in Australia to assist me in improving my site. This has been the best move yet!

cat-looking-straight-ahead

The importance of mentors

 

Taking Risks in Outer and Inner Journeys was last modified: July 14th, 2018 by Anne Skyvington
November 7, 2016 0 comment
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Emotions and HealthMythosWriting

Learning to Have Courage and Compassion

How do you react to negative feedback?

In our family, I was the overly sensitive one. Recently, I was recently rated high in intuition, feeling and perception, in a Myers-Briggs personality test. Fate had paired me off with a mother who had quite a thick hide. Small things upset me, and big things were crushing for my very soul. One instance was the near-death of a beloved brother when I was six. I tried to conceal my “weakness”, and took on the guilt for some things that were not my fault. It meant that I grew up carrying heavy emotional baggage on my shoulders: even responsibility for this brother’s accident.

Later on, after much work on my part, I was able to heal from my troubles. I even got rid of the “Black Dog” of depression, so that I could bring up my two children in a healthy environment.

Still much later on, I learnt to have compassion for my mother, who suffered from “nerves” that were misunderstood afflictions in those days. One of my main aims in writing is to destigmatise mental illness.

At the time of my writing, mental illness is still a source of stigma for those suffering from it, and often feared by those who are ignorant about it. Many sporting stars, as well as artists, actors and creative writers are among those attending psychological clinics, who choose not to publicise their affliction.

And yet, more and more books are being written and published, revealing the ubiquitous nature of mental illness in society today.  See recent books by Guy Winch, a clinical psychologist with hard-earned wisdom, offering solutions to these questions.

 Learning to have compassion

dostoyevsky

Sometimes I’ve felt like The Idiot  in the masterpiece by Dostoyevsky, because I’ve found it hard to give up on those who are suffering. The protagonist, Prince Myshkin, puts up with a lot, and comes across as being stupid; but he is the incarnation of compassion within the structure of the novel. The title is meant to be ironic.

Learning from your own emotional struggles and rejections, is also how you learn to have compassion for others. This  often starts in the home.  If not, school days usually teach us about this all-important emotion. In fact, it’s often through suffering ourselves, that we learn to have compassion and sympathy for others.

 

When I was in fourth class at primary school, my teacher, a returned war serviceman, who’d been wounded in the Second World War, used to write this short poem on the blackboard. It was for cursive writing practice. I was never good at handwriting, but I loved poetry. The sentiments expressed in this poem made a great impression on me at the time.

Life is mostly froth and bubble,
Two things stand like stone.
Kindness in another’s trouble,

Courage in your own.

Adam Lindsay Gordon

This sentiment stood by me when I was being bullied at junior primary school around this time; when I felt terribly alone with no one to stand up for me. Many sensitive children go through this at some stage in their school days. My reaction was in part linked to the near-death accident of that much loved brother.

Later on, in high school, Shakespeare’s words attributed to Portia in The Merchant of Venice (the court scene) made a similarly huge impact on me:

The quality of mercy is not strain’d,
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven
Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest;
It blesseth him that gives and him that takes:

William Shakespeare

Finding a mentor or kindred spirit

jung-as-an-old-manWhen I first read Memories, Dreams and Reflections by Carl Jung, I knew that I’d found a kindred spirit, or at least, a mentor. Jung’s ideas on Projection have been an especially enlightening idea for me.  He claimed that it was the most ubiquitous aspect of human psychology. He even went as far as to say that the best political, social, and spiritual work we can do is to withdraw—that is to reclaim— the projection of our own shadow on to others. As a child, he felt alone, and still felt like that as an adult, and even as an old man.  This was because he knew things, and had to hint at things, which others didn’t know about,  and for the most part, didn’t want to know about.

Today, we are often tarred with the title of “whacko” if we hint at our own personal experiences that seem to collide with or question accepted social tenets, especially those of Science today. Carl Jung in the early twentieth century knew this, and kept many of his thoughts to himself.

Even the great Russian writer, Tolstoy, in the nineteenth century, succumbed to depression in later life, and could not hold onto his religious beliefs, which had nonetheless inspired an exalted community of followers, including Mahatma Gandhi. In his Confessions, written in late middle age, Tolstoy expresses his disillusionment with religion, and turns to a more mystical/Eastern search for God. He was excommunicated by the Orthodox church in response to expressing his true opinions.

Learning to Have Courage and Compassion was last modified: July 14th, 2018 by Anne Skyvington
October 31, 2016 2 comments
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Emotions and HealthExistence

Finding peace … going deeper … meditating

What is Meditation?

“It’s what happy and successful people do,” I was told, when I first started learning about meditation and how to do it. The Dalai Lama and other Tibetan Buddhists  believe that happiness is the actual goal of most people on earth.  But we in the West are brought up with the idea that finding a job, buying a house, getting married and having children are what we should aim for. Yet, while aiming for these goals, and even on reaching them, quite often we feel depressed, dissatisfied, and, yes, unhappy.

meditation-temple-girlMeditation has been around from time immemorial; it was first recorded in written texts from seven thousand years ago in China. While meditation has become linked mainly to Eastern cultures, it is integral to most spiritual paths, and basic to all major religions in some form or another.

Dr Ian Gawler of the Ian Gawler Foundation claimed to have been cured of cancer through meditation and dietary changes.  He states that “No matter where in your life you want to see improvement, meditation can help. It does not matter what age you are, your culture or beliefs; meditation is for everyone and can provide you with great benefits, many of which have been scientifically confirmed. This simple, yet powerful mind training tool, can bring long-term improvement to your health, well-being, relationships and career.”

Modern doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists recommend “mindfulness meditation” practices as part of stress management skills.  These practices are based on the same millenia old Buddhist meditation skills, often stripped of their religious connotations. Research shows that changes take place in the brains of practitioners, even after a short time utilising these methods. Nevertheless, ritual in some form or another, gives structure to these practices and encourages the formation of habits.

How to Meditate

There are many different groups offering many different meditation practices. Here is an article outlining the main different types of meditation.

Simply put, you sit with your back erect, close your eyes, focus on your breath, and practise mindfulness. It takes time and continued practice to learn how to do this easily and comfortably, without being pulled around by speedy, agitated monkey mind which refers to a person’s inability to quieten their thoughts and pacify their minds.  Buddhists compare thoughts to clouds moving across the clear background of the sky.

a-group-of-monkeys

 A Simple Meditation

  1. Sit or lie comfortably. You may even want to invest in a meditation chair.

  2. Close your eyes.

  3. Make no effort to control the breath; simply breathe naturally.
  4. Focus your attention on the breath and on how the body moves with each inhalation and exhalation.

  5. Focusing on a special sound (om) or on a source of light, such as a candle, are other useful tools.

candle-flame-bright copy

Finding peace … going deeper … meditating was last modified: July 7th, 2018 by Anne Skyvington
September 29, 2016 7 comments
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Emotions and HealthExistence

Networking and Emotional Intelligence

Swedish “love coach”, Carolin Dahlman,  gave a presentation to our writers’ group around the idea of networking in order to be published. Most of the large group of writers who attended were hoping to be published one day.  emotional-intelligence-therapistHer message was that, in this fast-moving world, we need to self-promote through the internet and other technology at our disposal, and to go out and meet people and talk about our projects. Admittedly, she has found a rewarding niche for herself, in that many lonely people need her psychological know-how, and her skills for relating to others. At the same time, she has to self promote and she has boundless energy for doing so.
A question from a group member who saw himself as being highly intelligent was about IQ versus EQ. He believed in the supremacy of IQ, intelligence quotient,  for a happy life. Carolin claimed that, in fact, IQ can be an obstacle in a person’s search for “truth”. Her response was that emotional intelligence (EQ or EI) is far more important for finding love and happiness than IQ. She often meets intelligent men and women who are afraid of seeking out love and who live a lonely life as a result.
 Several people in the group pointed out examples of “idiot savants” (Remember “Rain Man” played by Dustin Hoffman?) who can calculate extraordinary sums in their head, but who can barely look after themselves. However, these are extreme examples of specifically gifted individuals within the “autism spectrum” , who do not score well on intelligence tests at all.
 Another definition of EQ is from Salovey and Mayer: “A form of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.
Daniel Goleman, in his 1995 book Emotional Intelligence, identified 4 aspects of the concept as follows: Knowing your emotions; managing your own emotions; motivating yourself; managing relationships i.e. managing the emotions of others. The fifth one is the hardest to achieve;  many parents will agree with this, as small children are naturally egotistical.
Another point to consider: High intelligence and moral or ethical behaviour are not necessarily in synchrony. Biographies of highly intelligent men, such as Albert Einstein, show him to be a seriously flawed individual.

einstein-science-art

 Did Albert Einstein attempt to synthesise, at least through his writings, the two aspects of intelligence, as this painting suggests?

 

Networking and Emotional Intelligence was last modified: July 7th, 2018 by Anne Skyvington
September 22, 2016 4 comments
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Emotions and HealthExistenceMythos

Are You Left Brained or Right Brained?

I must tread carefully here…

I have to be careful when discussing the concept of left versus right brained people, as I’m married to a scientist, who also happens to be a very creative person. He was an actor when we first met, but has for a long time worked in a left-brained (academic) field: researching best-practice treatments for treating stuttering.

Follow the dancing lady…


When I follow the dancing lady figure closely with my eyes—many might see it as a puerile exercise or a trick—something interesting happens. I only see her turning right. Does this clinch the deal? I’m a right-brained person!

Left-brained people are said to utilise the parts of the brain related to logic, whereas  right-brained people choose the areas concerned with creativity.

Many who subscribe to this idea of left-brained versus right-brained, believe that we are born with a particular leaning towards one or the other hemisphere.  However, I see this distinction as partly metaphorical, rather than literal. That is, we are probably utilising both hemispheres of the brain all of the time, when working mentally, thinking and using language. But certain tracts or pathways might be forged differently, certainly over time, for the creative versus the logical thinker.

 Genetic or not?

Our daughter has inherited the two faculties in perfect measure: she can swing between a logical way of thinking and a creative approach whenever she chooses to. However, her preferred path is the creative one.  She is a very good artist, has always been attracted to drama, fashion, interior design, and communicating with friends and with people in general. She would not be happy sitting behind a desk, studying or working at a “monotonous” job. Yet, the following photo of her kiosk, part of a business plan she is constructing, required her to use skills that draw on both traditional left and right sides of the brain when required. The overall impact of the business will be based on her gifted creative skills.

akates-proposed-kiosk-store

Are You a Creative or Logical Thinker?

Overall, I’m probably a creative, rather than a logical thinker. Yet I’ve excelled in academic pursuits at certain points in my life, when I’ve chosen to do so.  At this stage in life, I have chosen to follow my goal of mastering creative writing (fiction and memoir) now that I have retired from full-time work.  And recently, in every survey I’ve filled in relating to this topic, I’ve been shown to fall on the side of “right-brained” rather than “left-brained”.  But only just.  That is, I’m using all of my brain, all of the time, but I’m currently favouring creativity, over logical thinking.  And it shows!

Which side of the brain do you think you favour?

Brain scanning technology is quickly approachi...

Brain scanning technology is quickly approaching levels of detail that will have serious implications (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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    Human brain – left and right hemispheres – superior-lateral view (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

     

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Are You Left Brained or Right Brained? was last modified: July 13th, 2018 by Anne Skyvington
September 15, 2016 5 comments
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Anne Skyvington

Anne Skyvington is a writer based in Sydney who has been practising and teaching creative writing skills for many years. Learn about structuring a short story and how to go about creating a longer work, such as a novel or a memoir.

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Anne Skyvington is a Sydney-based writer and blogger. Read more...

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